Today, I turn to blogging again.

Much as I did not want to abandon this hobby, I drifted.

I admit I drifted. And I want back.

This had been such a pure form of release.

And looking back, I could see that I was a happy kid.

I was either animated or annoyed, never sad.

Those were the simple pleasures of the past, the past I want to grip tightly to.

People will like to look back in their lives and question, "Have I changed much these past 5 years? Was it for the better or worse?" And having a blog makes this review a simple challenge.

I don't know for sure if it was for better or worse, but I had grown. Entering the workforce, I am now fully financially responsible for myself, and the future I'd like to build. Whatever which I want to have in the future, I have to start planning for it (and discount it to net present value Ha. Ha.)

I am finally... free. In a sense. I lead my life now. And I own it. If I want to quit my job and move to New York tomorrow... I can. If I want to send all the helpless strays to vets and shelters now... I can. (Thankfully I haven't seen many helpless animals around these days)

And that.. is liberating.

That, is growing up.

1. Time.

Today, my tuition kid said in class: "Cher I remember last year when you taught us you used to let us play at the board, drawing out whatever stories you told"

(Yup, at that time I used to let the kids entertain themselves (and me hah) during their 5min break by drawing out the ridiculous stories I churned out, usually about old witches on rooftops and the cat that fished a giant whale. But all these had to stop because its their PSLE year this year)

And I said: "Oh yeah, I remember too. I feel sorry for you; your teacher became so much more boring nowadays".

I don't know if its right to use such direct and politically incorrect humour on these 12 year olds "Hey Mushroom (the kid in Toad's clothes), stop complaining that its hot cause I'm freezing so the aircon will remain like this" (but then silently I'll lower the temp because I'll be damn for not appeasing these little royals), but they seem to double over in laughter so I guess its fine. Hope I don't end up ruining their childhood or something. I probably am a very unconventional teacher. (Mercifully out of the NIE system that probably has a set of boring rules on ways to conduct a lesson.)

But other than that, I'm proud of myself for trying my very best to get even the laziest bones to finish their work. Because the homework is what they owe me, and responsibility is what I owe to them.

Don't you ever say I just walked away --- I will always want you

Overheard my P6 kid telling the counter-lady today at the tuition center:

"I love math tuition because of three reasons: 1) I like my teacher 2) I like the lessons 3) I like math!"

So happy because in the past year of teaching at the center, it's been my goal, no matter how busy I was in the week, to bring these to the children: Love for math, love for tuition lessons and solid math facts.

And so, I had always tried to incorporate fun and games into my lessons because I believe that rote learning gets children nowhere and fun enforces learning by at least 3 folds.

Satisfaction when the kids blossom is definitely there but teaching career in future? Still nah for now. Let's see how I fare at auditing first. Haha. But its a good balance to face cheery, worries-free children at the end of a week of sullen workingclassmen.
new past